The unwell teacher becomes The Well Teacher

This story ends well, I promise.

This summer has been perspective shifting. I have been extremely busy for the past two years, running a company, teaching 4 days a week and writing a book. Time has been managed to within an inch of its life. I had forgotten about all that I had learned when reading Four Thousand Weeks back in 2021 which states “Productivity is a trap. Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed, and trying to clear the decks simply makes them fill up again faster”¹.

In January my first book, Teacher Autonomy was finally published and I have not stopped since - marketing on social media, attending many (sadly, unpaid) events and spending way too much time sharing posts about what I do on social media. The irony of how writing a book about autonomy stole away my control over my own time has not evaded me.

The summer holiday arrived and I thought that I was ok. I was not. I was burnt out. As always, burn out creeps up on you like a cheeky seagull on Brighton beach - I jumped out of my skin and was left with a remaining half a life in my fingertips. Disappearing joy, dissolving energy and no certainty or motivation for what was next. Just numb and exhausted.

I slept when I could, tried hard to deliver on my summer holiday commitments - music festivals, holidays and family reunions and as I nourished my soul with these familiar and fun life affirming activities (a world away from my education persona) I began to feel whole again. Rebuilding, bit by bit led me to a stark realisation - I don’t want this anymore. Balance is calling, in fact it’s screaming.

I have been fighting for education change since I became a teacher 17 years ago. It has been relentless and I am tired. Do we still need change - yes. Can I continue to fight full time on top of being a classroom teacher? - No.

So I have promised myself - No more seeking acceptance. No more chasing. No more unpaid work. No more taking on work simply because it comes my way.

Finally, in the last week of the summer holidays (as I began to feel whole again) I read the book, The Well Teacher by Ben Levinson. It was a beautiful reminder that I had become so focused on what needed to change that I had forgotten what I love about teaching.

My burn out isn’t from teaching alone but from the pressure I have placed on myself to be “somebody” in education, to not only have the answers but to make them reality.

The antidote to teacher stress is hidden in plain sight - it lies with the children. As the consultancy world continues to work hard to make systemic change it is important to recognise that those of us who are in the classroom have another kind of work to do - be present. It is with this presence that we will find space to play, find joy and perhaps find the deeper sense of acceptance we are all searching for. After all as Ben so succinctly describes - there is a deeper flow to be discovered from our time in the classroom and it’s there for all of us teachers to reconnect with, when we are ready and willing.

“So often, I am in flow state: intensely focused; automatic in my actions in control; enjoying the activity itself. This flow state is another element of deeper joy:...”²

So here I am now, having come full circle. Writing about the importance of Teacher Autonomy, only to lose control over mine, and now realising that my ambition to be somebody took me away from my presence. I am a Well Teacher again, almost. My plan now? To find joy both inside and outside of my work, to not put pressure on myself to have answers, to seek out approval, to be a loud voice in education social media circles or to feel I need to be seen; because all of those things are meaningless when you have no energy, no time and no joy.